I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
