i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
