This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
