Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
