We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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