I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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