You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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