Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
