Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Someone shit on the floor
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
