I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
