A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she was so not down for the gang bang
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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