is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
