In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
