if you like me you must not know who I am
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
