I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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