every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
