I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
