Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
