i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
