I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
