I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize