He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
