Where did you get a picture of my penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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