i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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