i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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