so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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