I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
