spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
