Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Randomize
