i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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