Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
