3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
