i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
