Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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