I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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