Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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