I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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