I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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