dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
