We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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