okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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