yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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