She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
