I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
