you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
