hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
