you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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