I didn't shave. On purpose
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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