so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
