We're like a lot better than the average bears
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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