there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
oh god the rape fog is back!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
