I puked a lego.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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