At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
