I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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