As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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