Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize