Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I need moral support for this bender
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
