i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
