READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i love accidental penises.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
