I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
