there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
